So me and the boys go out side to sign some mixtapes for fans and what do we see? ...A couple of northern monkeys selling counterfeit Plan B t-shirts. 'Who's Plan B then is he any good?' I ask the Northern Monkey. 'Next question' he replies. 'Plan B, what's his album like?' 'Next question' he replies again. The whole time this is happening, fans are coming up to me asking for autographs which I am signing right in front of the northern monkeys. Still they don't clock. 'Hey B you should get picture taken with one of those fake t-shirts for a joke' says Drake the bass player. 'Yeah, good idea' I reply. 'Oie mate pass me one of those t-shirts so I can get a picture taken with it?' I ask the arctic monkey 'No. Only if you buy it' he says. That was it... 'Fuck you mate, I am Plan B and those are my t-shirts you're ripping off. I could kick the shit out of you for doing what youre doing but I'm not, so give me a fucking t-shirt!' I demand. I pick up a t-shirt and Drake starts taking my photo. 'What, your Plan B? ...What kinda music do you tut make?' asks the cheeky monkey This is met with laughter from all of us. 'You should be happy that were promoting your band mate. We'll be seeing you tomorrow at Birmingham too!' says the cocky un-evolved human. And to finish off the banana munching cheeky chimpanzee type tactics, the little northern bloke says... 'Here I tell you what... Tut the end et tour, you come and see me and I'll give you one fut free!' Unbelievable aint it? I'm trying to make a living from my own merchandise, and these cheeky northern arctic chimps are ripping me
off! Believe If I ever start selling out Ally Pally, I wont even give a fuck ...But when im playing infront of only just over 500 people I cant be allowing that. So you little monkeys ...Expect a trifle, some greek yogurt or a mullers fruit corner coming yours and your fake merchandises way in the very near future!
Ps The monkey stereotype only applies to people that use underhand monkey type tactics to rip me off. Everybody else who is northern, thank you for supporting and just being northern without the monkey!
P E A C E
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