My back and my motherfucking neck hurts! If you sleep too much you wake up feeling like you havent slept at all. Maybe its the tour catching up on me (tours finished now btw), you know like a form of jet lag... I doubt it though! For a while now (apart from being in slight pain) my life has been satisfactory. At my age that is not good. When life becomes satisfactory nothin' inspires you to be artistic, you lose your drive to be creative. Half of the motivation you use to be creative stems from not having achieved anything and wanting to prove yourself. The thing is, what if you have already proved your self to your self? I may have not proved myself to the world but I have definately proved my self to myself. Thats why im confident enough to even get on the stage in front of two thousand people because I know how good i am. So this is where the motivational issues come in to play. Its not that i dont want to write my next album or direct my own film, its just that there's other things in my life making it satisfactory. In other words without pain I have nothing to write about. Without struggle I have nothing to motivate me and without oppostion I have nothing to challenge. So why am i oversleeping? Because i am thinking too much in bed about how to write my next album and how to finish my film treatment. The flow i had when writing my treatment was fast and decisive. But now all i do is lay in bed thinking about what to write next. I spend my day dealing with business and bullshit so that when i finally get to time to think i am laying in bed cutting in to my sleeping time. This meens i am going to sleep later making me more tired and then dreaming about being awake and finishing what i have to do. Thats why im waking up in pain, because my brain has been working over drive in its slumber, meaning that i wake up feeling like i have been up for twenty hours already.
So whats the answer? Be a fuck up again? Get rid of all the things that are comatizing you into a tempory state of happiness, cut your ties with the people that are making your life easier, be irresponsible, start doing drugs again, act like a fucking rock star, make the wrong decisions instead of the right ones like getting some crazy c class celeb media whore groupie pregnant so that the rest of your life is complicated from that day forward...I t worked for Pete Doherty! Or did it?
Maybe i need to take a risk. Do what method actors do, go live in someone else's shoe's for a while. I could go and start a new band, be whoever the fuck i wanted to be... We'll see i suppose. What i do know is i aint putting no bullshit out on my next record, whatever i has got to be big.
5 comments:
Plan b, i love you music, i was gonna go see you in cambridge but i was skiing over half term, trust me and my mate are your biggest fans ever, dont wana sound like a brown noser though. My fave song is no hats no trainers, or hustling, Email me @ enjoi_fear@hotmail.com - shity email.
nah,you're just procrastinating. here's hoping that it's only temporary.
and i think the fact that you don't limit yourself lyrically is an ingenius way to reach out to people of all levels of society. we are too sanitised to empathise nowadays.
ps: when's your album gonna be out in Asia?!
Wassup B, name's Eric. I read your blog on the struggle to find inspiration and new things to write about after the things you base your music around are all gone of fading fast. As a lyricist I tend to have this problem also. I don't know if you noticed it yet but that one subject alone is enough to base a song on by itself. Sometimes imagination is key. The more it's used, the more u excel. If you feel like life's satisfactory, try rapping about how u want it to be. There's always inspiration, where we get it is another story (literally). And don't worry about that 2nd album, I think we all know it's gonna be the shit. Peace
thanks for the feedback
You are awesome!
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